i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
