I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
