We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
