I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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