guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
