I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
