i just identified you from a description of your pipe
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Randomize
