You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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