Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
