do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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