at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
