My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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