Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
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Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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