Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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