Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
