she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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