I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
...so i touched it.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
They took my balls.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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