why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
