apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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