Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
