I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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