I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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