69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
