this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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