dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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