dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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