you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
