i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
