Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
