Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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