Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Everclear isn't food dammit
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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