i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
