Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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