gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
