You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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