You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
