The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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