I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
