Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
