I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
