new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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