She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
