Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
