I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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