I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
