Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
