I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Randomize
