I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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