ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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