Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
