bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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