i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
