you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
