He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
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Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
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I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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