Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
