Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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