i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
