The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
