we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
