I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize