i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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