What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
