Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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